As someone who has been fan editing since age 16 and is now 24, I’ve always been asking myself: when will I give up editing? Does it happen after high school or college? Does it fizzle away when I stop feeling the need to obsess over my favorite artists? Is there a deadline for my creativity to be put to rest? 

When you grow up with your identity revolving around stan culture, the pressure to put the editing software down as you get older seemingly increases, especially in a community made up of so many young people. In my head, it can feel silly, even though I know it’s not. I’m proud of the skills I’ve developed, the things I’ve taught myself, and the community I’ve built around my work. I value this art form as if it’s the most important creative skill I’ll ever learn. 

The societal expectations of a conventional young adulthood sometimes make me question how long I’ve been doing this. I’ve caught myself creating arbitrary deadlines, like I have to quit editing at the end of the semester, or maybe after this year I should finally be done. But I could never really stay away, even after taking a break for several years. I can still recall late nights when inspiration strikes at 1am, opening my editing software and telling myself I’ll just try something small, and then realizing hours have passed without me noticing. It has a kind of pull that stays with me until I can turn the idea in my head into something real. Realizing that, I’ve started to question why I feel the lingering need to quit. If the only reason is that I’m getting older, then maybe I need to reevaluate the way I’ve been thinking about it. 

I see so many of my peers growing into the film and media editing industry as young professionals, getting amazing opportunities to make an impact in this rapidly evolving digital environment. I genuinely think that’s incredible, and I feel proud anytime an editor I know takes on something exciting. It’s not that I don’t admire or even consider that path, but it does make me question my own. Past a certain life stage, does my creative potential only feel meaningful if I can use it toward a professional career? Is it enough to keep spending hours making edits of people I love, the same way I did when I was 16? I find these thoughts to be rooted in the self-doubt and criticism that have come with growing older, especially within the arts. 

Somehow, it also feels like there’s pressure to change the content of your work as you grow older, to be considered more “serious.” I’m not saying this is how it is or should be, but more an assessment of how my thinking has been influenced by societal expectations to think about the value of art and creating, and how closely that value is tied to money, productivity, and age. It's almost as if we’re trained to outgrow the things that once brought us joy, especially if they can’t be turned into a steady source of income. 

Maybe the way we grow up immersed in fan culture is part of a much bigger, constantly evolving conversation. But while I still make dramatic velocity edits or ship edits of my favorite 

fictional characters from time to time, editing has become my most consistent creative outlet. It has shaped me so deeply over the last eight years. Even when I took breaks from posting on my editing account, I never stopped making edits. I’ve been able to visualize and connect with emotions I could never have imagined putting into my own words; in that sense I think editing is a tool more powerful than many of us realize. I’ve used this medium to process emotions, archive memories, curate aesthetics, immerse myself in pop culture, and support the people I love every day. 

I feel more and more inspired to edit when I see the things this community creates, which is why I could never truly stay away from it, no matter how much I’ve grown. There’s something about witnessing that constant drive to make things, to share them, to connect through them, that pushes me to create too. It becomes this cycle of inspiration, where you’re shaped by what you see, and then you contribute something back. 

As I grow, I reassure myself that every day doesn’t have to be about taking it to the next level or pursuing an industry career, and that life is about playing, creating art, and trying new things. To me, these things feel deeply integrated within fan editing and at the core of this community, and although I don’t know what’s to come, I know this will always remain an integral part of who I am. 

-tears2cry